Rodney Rothman previously served as executive producer on Forgetting Sarah Marshall. His next film, the Sarah Marshall spinoff Get Him to the Greek, is due to be released in June of 2010. Rothman is the author of the best-selling nonfiction humor book “Early Bird,”

As a television writer, Rothman was hired as a staff writer at The Late Show With David Letterman when he was 21 years old.  At 24, he was promoted to head writer, making him the youngest head writer in the program’s history.  While serving as head writer, he was nominated for five Emmy Awards for Outstanding Writing and helped the show win three Emmy Awards for Outstanding Variety, Comedy or Musical Program.

In addition, Rothman has written and directed comedic material for The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, served as writer and supervising producer on Undeclared and created the HBO comedy pilot $5.15/Hr., along with director Richard Linklater.

His writing has also appeared in The New Yorker, GQ, The New York Times, The New York Times Magazine and McSweeney’s Quarterly. His piece “My Fake Job” was included in The Best American Nonrequired Reading, edited by Dave Eggers.

The Interview

The Daily Norm: My readers and I would like to make sure you are, in fact, human – it levels the ‘normalcy’ playing field. So do you eat, go to the bathroom, bleed and cry?

Rodney Rothman: If being human means that I procrastinate far too much, sleep too little, sleep too much, and do four things a day I need to apologize for – then yes, I am human. Also I eat too much ice cream.

TDN: What’s your daily schedule on a normal day?

RR: I wake up and check my email, take a shower, sit down at my computer, drink some coffee, do some deep breathing, say a prayer to the muses, and then randomly jump around on the internet for 2 hours until guilt overtakes me.

TDN: Name one thing that you have to do on a regular basis that you despise. What lengths would you actually go to, in order to delete it from your schedule?

RR: Keeping a to do list. Because so many things I don’t want to do stem from that damn thing.

TDN: What would you change about your work, industry, profession or self if you could change anything?

RR: There are so many gatekeepers in Hollywood it makes it hard to actually make stuff.  You’re always working hard to please the girl who works for the guy who works for the girl who works for the guy who works for the multi-national corporation that makes the decisions.

TDN: Is there any life stage or event you would have skipped (like geometry) on the way to where you are now? Would it have been missed?

RR: Nah, not really. In some ways I wish I still knew calculus.

TDN: What was your main stepping stone to getting to where you are today?

RR: My mom introduced me to a friend of a friend’s son who was writing for SNL. Just as a “meet a writer” informational thing. That guy told me I could submit jokes to SNL’s Weekend Update as a freelancer and if I got any on I’d be paid 50 bucks a joke. I wrote some, got some on, and suddenly a goal that seemed impossible shifted into view. Thanks Mom!

TDN: What word or phrase do you say most often?

RR: According to the people who make fun of me it’s “Hey man what’s up,” regardless of whether I’m talking to a man or a woman.

TDN: What is your single biggest accomplishment?

RR: People I admire creatively caring about what I have to say. It happens every now and again.

TDN: Is there anything that you can’t live without?

RR: Pens and Paper. I still do a lot of my best thinking with it.

TDN: What’s the best part of your life?

RR: My girlfriend and getting to make movies.

TDN: And have you figured out how to get more of it?

RR: Making movies: Trying to have as many irons in the fire as I can because you never know.

My girlfriend: I’m pretty sure I already mentioned the apologizing four times a day part.

TDN: What is your ultimate motivation tool?

RR: To tell a story that moves others as much as the best stories have moved me — especially friends and family.

TDN: If someone wanted to be you or do what you do, what would you say to them?

RR: Write as much as possible. Find the places where the most talent aspirants to your art form gather, and join that community. Conferences, clubs, schools, “scenes,” festivals — wherever community is fostered. Relationships matter as in any industry. You never know who will end up being able to help you out. Be nice to your mom, she might know someone.

My fascination with Traeger is rooted deeply in his contagious love of art and life. In a world where so many people apologize for their choices, make excuses or derail their dreams for fear of failure, here is a man who doesn’t even consider those paths as possibilities.

He works at his art, tirelessly and smiling all the while. Sometimes the images come out effortlessly. I’ve seen him produce an astounding painting in 10 minutes. Sometimes they don’t. But, he’s there – showing up at the easel, paints in hand – turning what he sees into something we can see – with pleasure.

Gesture is his focus. It’s not always capturing the way a person’s face looks, it’s more about seeing how the person dresses or moves. It’s about capturing their essence and letting that lead you to imagine how their face would look.

Traeger’s work can be seen at the Dragonfly Gallery and at PIKNIK on Martha’s Vineyard, also in businesses and restaurants around the northeast. Working with oils, acrylics and mixed media, he’s frequently called upon for commissioned pieces as well. I’ve included a few of my favorites here, but you can view more on his website. Check ‘em out.

The Interview

The Daily Norm: My readers and I would like to make sure you are, in fact, human – it levels the ‘normalcy’ playing field. So do you eat, go to the bathroom, bleed and cry? We’re happy to hear some proof if you want to supply it (Most sought after food? Horrible airplane bathroom story? Worst bleeding jag? Embarrassing movie that made you bawl?)

Traeger di Pietro: I was just asking a friend to do a painting of a grilled cheese sandwich…this may be my all time favorite food. That and duck sauce. I don’t have any bad airplane bathroom stories, but the airplane bathroom always makes me feel like I’m somewhere else (for example, that I’m in the bathroom of the Playboy Mansion or something), then I step out and say to myself, ‘Oh yeah, great. I’m still in the air.’ And then the anxiety kicks back in. Not a big fan of the flying.

The last movie that made me cry, besides Rudy, had to be Titanic. The part when the ship was going down and the old couple laid in bed, fully clothed with their dancing shoes on holding hands ready to go down together…man that got me, that got me good…I think I’m going to cry now just thinking about it.

TDN: What’s your daily schedule on a normal day?

TdP: I drive a truck from 7-3, 5 days a week, then I go home and paint in my studio until I go to bed. I wish I could be more creative with that, but I guess I’m pretty stinking boring. I drive the truck so I can see the world and so I can paint. My day revolves around my painting.

TDN: Name one thing that you have to do on a regular basis that you despise.

TdP: I don’t like to brush my teeth. I get it, girls want you to brush your teeth so you can kiss them, so I do it, but it would be really great to not have to stick that thing in my mouth ever again. But, seriously I swear I brush my teeth…just not a lot. Actually I hate cleaning my paint brushes too. I don’t like using a neat tidy brush, I prefer rough and beat up…it’s more my style.

TDN: What would you change about your work, industry, profession or self if you could change anything?

TdP: Well, if I wanted to change something about my work, then I would. My art is constantly going around in circles, and I like that…you can’t get too high and you can’t get too low, you have to always stay in the middle. When I start thinking about where I am in my career and how I can make my art better and who will buy it, I get stressed.

So then I think, ‘Okay wait, let’s remember why you paint…you paint because you love life and what surrounds you, you love the people and things that spark you… you paint them because you are a creator…you want to capture them and make them last so you can share them with the people you love.’ It’s like a lifetime of show and tell. And then I think, ‘Oh yeah, that’s right! What the heck was I thinking?’ And I just keep painting.

TDN: Is there any life stage or event you would have skipped (like geometry) on the way to where you are now? Would it have been missed?

TdP: I’m kind of a symbolic, cosmical type guy. I do believe in true love, I do believe in timing….if i missed something then it’s because it was meant to be…

I also think I read your question totally wrong, but I like my answer, so I’m keepin’ it. And it does answer the question, actually, because I wouldn’t have missed anything on purpose, but I’d be okay with anything the cosmos wanted me to miss.

TDN: What was your main stepping stone to getting to where you are today? (Person, place, thing, luck, pluck, virtue?)

TdP: Friends and family have helped me be the person that I am. I have fantastic friends that are painters, musicians and other types of creators that always help me move forward. And my professors – they always said, just keep painting.

TDN: What word or phrase do you say most often?

TdP: Hi there!

TDN: What is your single biggest accomplishment?

TdP: I would have to say being a good uncle.

TDN: Is there anything that you can’t live without? (besides food, water and oxygen)

TdP: Sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll! No, just kidding. The real answer is: sex, art, and rock ‘n roll!

TDN: What’s the best part of your life?

TdP: The people. I have been blessed in meeting so many amazing people…and they’re all so diverse. All of my friends are so different from one another, they probably wouldn’t even know what to say to each other if I put them in the same room, but they all have big hearts and they are all a part of mine. My family, my loved ones – they are the best part of my life. They are my glue, they keep me together and help me stride. Great, I’m gonna cry again…just kidding…only one per interview.

TDN: And have you figured out how to get more of it?

TdP: YES! Be nice. When I forget how to live sometimes, I think back to when I first learned how to talk, to when I learned words like, ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. I think some grown-ups need to go to a couple of classes with their kids so they can remember.

TDN: What is your ultimate motivation tool?

TdP: Women. I’m being totally serious. But also: buildings, cracks in the walls, oil stains on the warehouse floor, a child’s drawings or drawings by people who ‘don’t think they can draw’.

Really, just about anything can motivate me. I’ll take walks, take a ride in the car, just watch people. I look at shadows all the time. After a while all these things I do subconsciously help me make better art…I’m constantly painting in my mind.

Being a painter is amazing. It lets me be an architect, a hair designer, a fashion designer. I invent light, I can create my own worlds. One colorful scarf wrapped around a woman’s zebra print coat, with a red skirt, and high heeled boots, that is what motivates me. That’s why I love the city…but, a clamdigger is just as motivating.

Motivation and inspiration are everywhere.

TDN: Who do you most admire and why?

TdP: I admire my brother because he is an amazing dad! I admire good dads – and moms too, of course.

TDN: If someone wanted to be you or do what you do, what would you say to them?

TdP: Get down and dirty, make a mess, have fun, don’t take yourself too seriously. And remember – yes, everything has been created before, but not by us. So just keep painting.

Clearly the most important part of this rabbi’s bio is that we shared our first kiss. I was five, he was four. And I’ve gotta say, I remember it clearly. He’s the kind of guy that makes an impression. He was also one of my best friends and my most magnificent partner in crime for the majority of our single digit years. Here are some other interesting things you should know about him:

Rabbi Doug Heifetz is the rabbi of Oseh Shalom, a 310-household Reconstructionist Jewish community in Laurel, MD. A native of St. Louis, Missouri, Rabbi Heifetz received a Bachelor of Science degree from Georgetown University, where he completed an internationally oriented liberal arts program, focused on Middle Eastern Regional Studies.  He also obtained a Certificate in Peace and Justice Studies.  After graduation, he worked as a union organizer in Washington, D.C. and Kalispell, Montana, helping low-income working people to pursue social justice.

Rabbi Heifetz attended the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, receiving his rabbinical ordination and Master of Hebrew Letters in 2005, along with certification as a Specialist in the Congregational Rabbinate.  He lived in Israel for a year during his studies at the RRC; served as bet midrash intern, assisting rabbinic students in Jewish text and Hebrew study; and was elected student representative to the RRC Board of Governors.  He received several honors and awards recognizing his scholarship and commitment to social action and justice.  As a student rabbi, he served for two years as the spiritual leader of Congregation Ahavath Sholom in Great Barrington, Massachusetts.  Prior to Oseh Shalom, Rabbi Heifetz also served as the part-time rabbi of the Olney Kehila and as a full-time Jewish studies middle school teacher at the Charles E. Smith Jewish Day School in Rockville.

He is married to Elaine Lippmann, a public interest attorney in Washington DC.  They live in Silver Spring, MD with their two young children, Judah Heifetz Lippmann and Dalya Heifetz Lippmann.

The Interview

The Daily Norm: My readers and I would like to make sure you are, in fact, human – it levels the ‘normalcy’ playing field. So do you eat, go to the bathroom, bleed and cry? We’re happy to hear some proof if you want to supply it…

Rabbi Doug Heifetz: I drink a lot of coffee.  I drink regular in the morning and decaf off-and-on until night.  I’m passionate about fitness and nutrition, and occasionally obsessive.  These days I work out mostly on my front porch.  Although it’s not enclosed, the porch is the only covered space in my house that’s large enough.  I own rubber bumper weight plates so that I can drop the loaded barbell from overhead when I practice the olympic lifts, and then I sprint in the street.  In winter weather I wear a bright orange parka while doing all this.  The neighbors think I’m pretty weird.  I have no idea why they’d think this but they’re all smart people.  Who am I to argue.

I love ice cream.  I especially like ice cream that has big gooey chunks of chocolate, cookie dough, peanut butter cups, etc.  Yes, I’m into nutrition but there has to be room for ice cream sometimes.

Oh, I love to BBQ and it’s one of my longest practiced skills—that’s the Missouri boy in me.

TDN: What’s your daily schedule on a normal day?

RDH: I usually get up with a few words of silent traditional prayer—reinforcing gratitude—around 7 AM, check in on my almost 3-year-old son Judah and my wife Elaine, who nowadays is usually feeding our 2-week-old nursing baby Dalya.  Then of course I make some coffee.  I sometimes read some news headlines on the internet, check e-mail and very often sit in Judah’s room and read him books, sometimes sing with him and eventually entice him to get dressed.  Then it’s breakfast for all of us and I drop Judah off at pre-school.  Afterward I’ll make some key phone calls or write some urgent e-mails as needed and usually work out.  Then I’ll most often prepare some food for the rest of the day and drive to the synagogue.

Once I arrive, I’m in meetings with staff members, individuals, couples, bar/bat mitzvah students, synagogue volunteers, colleagues and community partners.  In the afternoons and evenings I teach religious school classes and adult education, participate in synagogue committee meetings, and get home for more family time as soon as I can.  I study, write sermons and notes for talks, columns for the congregation’s newsletter, lesson plans, occasional blog posts and thank you notes at other times.

On weekends of course there’s Shabbat services (Friday night and Saturday AM), usually Saturday afternoon family time at home, Sunday religious school, board meetings, baby namings, etc.

TDN: Name one thing that you have to do on a regular basis that you despise. What lengths would you actually go to, in order to delete it from your schedule?

RDH: I hate organizing paperwork and filing.  Typically I’ll let large amounts of papers pile up in a box next to my desk and organize it a few times a year.  Okay, sometimes less than a few times a year.  Increasingly I avoid printed paper when I can.  I just don’t like it.  I don’t know what to do with it, it clutters my space and I don’t like to write by hand because I’m very slow and sometimes I can barely read my own handwriting.

TDN: What would you change about your work, industry, profession or self if you could change anything?

RDH: I wish that I had more time for study and more regular opportunities to meet with with rabbinic colleagues and exchange ideas.  I work as a solo rabbi, so I have to seek out opportunities.  When it does happen I nearly always feel charged up and inspired.

TDN: Is there any life stage or event you would have skipped (like geometry) on the way to where you are now? Would it have been missed?

RDH: I still feel a bit embarrassed that, as a teen, I did such silly and occasionally destructive things.  A friend and I dyed the school swimming pool with two quarts of food coloring.  It turns out that it cost the school many hundreds of dollars to clean it up, much of which I had to pay back.  I almost didn’t graduate because of that little episode.  I was often aimless in those days and—worse yet—somewhat ashamed of my aimlessness.  I wonder if I might’ve avoided some of that phase somehow.

Ultimately, though, those years helped inform the path ahead.  Hopefully I’m a more patient, understanding and helpful parent, friend and rabbi because of that life phase and other challenges I’ve met along the way.

TDN: What was your main stepping stone to getting to where you are today? (Person, place, thing, luck, pluck, virtue?)

RDH: So many family members, friends, teachers and even strangers have helped me at countless turns.  Here’s one incident that stands out in my mind:

In high school, an eminent Jewish historian and writer in our neighborhood advertised for a gardener.  I loved Jewish history, so I applied and he hired me.  My elderly employer would come outside to direct my work and hold long conversations with me.  One day we found a dead bird on the lawn.  “Damn,” he said with his stern European accent, “we will have to scrape it up.”  He picked up the bird with a rake.  “We’ll give it to the neighbor,” he declared, flinging it over the fence, “he’s a bastard!”  I loved the old man in part because of his very colorful personality and his unabashed eccentricity.

When the writer died several years later, the main speaker at his funeral said that my deceased employer had exemplified every good quality; he had even supposedly been a great neighbor.  I knew otherwise–I was his lawn boy.  The eulogy told no stories about my friend and lost sight of the man’s true personality.  I felt bereft not only because of his death but also because of his absence that I sensed in an empty list of qualities.

Just as I needed to hear the stories about my friend’s colorful personality, I believe that most of us can powerfully encounter the Divine—and sense a Godly presence in our lives—by really getting to know other people, their stories and what makes them unique.

The Talmud uses a parable to illustrate this point: “When a human king mints many coins from one mold, they are all alike.  But when the Holy One, the King of Kings, fashioned all humans in the image of their primordial ancestor, not one of them resembled another.”  That is to say, when we begin to see the unique individual and their story—we understand that they’re not just another copy like those coins printed by human kings.  Then we arrive at a sense of something great beyond words and beautiful, a Godly presence in the universe behind that unique personality.  When we don’t understand what makes someone unique—when an individual seems like just another person from a basic mold—we’re likely missing out on this Divine presence in the human interaction.

In my rabbinate I try to keep this principle in mind.  I draw from people’s unique stories as the basis for celebration, community-building and mourning.  I seek to help others to tell their stories and to connect them with ancient, powerful framing narratives and with a broader community.

TDN: What word or phrase do you say most often?

RDH: Here’s a few:
–“Would the congregation please rise if you’re able.”
–In Hebrew: ”Judah, please don’t throw that on the floor”
–”Sorry, I’m not eating [insert the refined carbohydrate here] these days.”

TDN: What is your single biggest accomplishment?

RDH: Right now I’m very proud that I helped Elaine—even if only a little bit—to get through natural childbirth.

TDN: Is there anything that you can’t live without? (besides food, water and oxygen)

RDH: Internet access, singing, solid protein sources, lots of veggies, berries & coconut milk.

TDN: What’s the best part of your life?

RDH: My family, my congregation and fitness.

TDN: And have you figured out how to get more of it?

RDH: I’m still trying to figure out how to better merge fitness and congregational life, to frame the spirituality of exercise and to better evoke the physicality of Jewish tradition.  Also, social justice work doesn’t play as great an active role in my life as it once did and I hope to take steps to increase that.

TDN: What is your ultimate motivation tool? (We won’t hold it against you if it’s ‘The Eye of the Tiger)

RDH: The Eye of the Tiger is right up there. How’d you know?! Aside from that, when I’m preparing for events (life-cycle events, religious services, meetings, teaching, etc) I think about the people whom I’m serving.  I think about the importance of the occasion for the community and the individuals involved.  I remind myself of how this particular life-cycle event, meeting, holiday, Shabbat, etc. fits into the story of the community or the individuals at the center of the event.  The thoughts help to focus me and to shape the content of what I prepare.  Also, when I think about how hard many of our synagogue volunteers work, I’m motivated to honor their commitment through my own efforts.  And a cup of coffee often helps.

TDN: Who do you most admire and why?

RDH: I admire Moses Maimonides, the 12th century Jewish sage who lived in Muslim Spain and North Africa.  He masterfully drew on ancient Jewish tradition to inform and enrich contemporary life and to participate in a sophisticated, multicultural philosophical discourse.  He provides a great role-model and key figure for Muslim-Jewish dialogue today.  He wrote prolifically but never lost sight of the communities he served and the needs of ordinary people.

TDN: If someone wanted to be you or do what you do, what would you say to them?

RDH: Work hard to overcome pride and to learn from everyone, not least of all those whom you might assume to be less knowledgeable than you.

Links for more on the Rabbi:

www.oseh-shalom.org
www.TheRavBlog.com

Alisa Bowman: Writer, Marriage Ass-Kicker

Alisa is one of those gems that I found on Twitter that turned into a real friend. It was hard not to get addicted to her and her ProjectHapillyEverAfter blog when the premise revolves around her plotting how exactly to off her husband, and then, instead, deciding to make a project out of saving her marriage. Some of my favorite advice? Whenever there’s turbulence, just give him a blowjob. I mean, really – how can you deny the power of those words?

I’m thrilled to let you all know that Project: Happily Ever After (the book) will be released by Running Press in February, 2011—just in time for Valentine’s day. And that Alisa is a highly sought after ghostwriter – having penned nearly 30 titles, 6 of which have been New York Times Bestsellers including: Back to Life After a Heart Crisis (Avery 2010), The Skinny (Broadway 2009), The 90 Second Fitness Solution (Atria 2008), Stop Aging, Start Living (Crown 2007).

You can also read Alisa on Ghostwriting Revealed (yes, that’s a blog about ghostwriting) and SexIs (yes, that’s a sex column).

The Interview

The Daily Norm: My readers and I would like to make sure you are, in fact, human – it levels the ‘normalcy’ playing field. So do you eat, go to the bathroom, bleed and cry?

Alisa Bowman: My taste buds adore flavor—the stronger the flavor the better. I love olives, anchovies, garlic, butter, burgers, guacamole, sea salt, cayenne pepper, jalapenos, curry, margaritas, extremely hoppy beer and dry red wine. I tend to overdo it on the eating part of life, which means that I’m constantly mulling over the idea of forcing my body to fit back into my clothes.  I manage to pull off the Incredible Shrinking Body Routine once a year, usually in the spring.

Then I soon gain back the same 5 pounds and my clothes are tight again. Because of this, I spent a good portion of the year living in sweatpants, as they are the only clothes that don’t make me feel like a stuffed sausage. This all causes me to feel a bit inadequate, considering the fact that I’ve ghost written a number of best-selling diet books and here I am gaining and losing the same 5 pounds over and over again.

As for crying—I seem to require a good snot-clearing catharsis about once a season. In the middle of the night after I learned I’d gotten the book deal for Project: Happily Ever After, for instance, I woke up with tears in my eyes, got out of bed, grabbed a box of tissues, and heaved big sloppy girly tears for a good hour or so. My eyes were swollen puffy the next day, but I told everyone that it was from allergies. I was too embarrassed to admit that a good thing—getting a book deal—had reduced me to those types of tears.

But that’s how I am. I never know what will set off my tear response. I cried the same sloppy tears the night after my daughter was born. I cried them at the end of reading A Thousand Splendid Suns.

Certain types of music will move me to tears. And, it must be said, I’ve cried during every single one of my daughter’s holiday pageants.

TDN: What’s your daily schedule on a normal day?

AB: I get up around 6 a.m. with the intention of meditating. Sometimes I check email instead. I check Feedburner every single morning so I can see how many people have subscribed to my blog in the past 24 hours. On Mondays, my stats always fall by about 200 subscribers and I, without fail, go to the, “Crap I must have really offended them! OMG! What should I do about it?!” place. Then on Tuesday the stats are back up and I’m like, “Oh, phew, people still love me. That’s a relief.”

The rest of the morning is about breakfast and getting my 5 year old ready and off to Kindergarten.

Once back at home, I write. I write books. I write magazine articles. I write blog posts. I write essays. I write all day long. Periodically I take breaks to 1) drink tea 2) walk the dog 3) run 4) look out the window 5) Twitter 6) eat 7) ponder whether my life is on the right track.

Then, in the evening, I either have family time or personal time (book club, girl’s night out, a dinner date with a friend). Sometimes, after my daughter is in bed, I check email, do more Twitter, work on my blog and generally bow to the shrine that is my computer. Other times I cuddle with my husband while we watch gory crime shows on TV. I’m usually in bed by 10 p.m.

TDN: Name one thing that you have to do on a regular basis that you despise. What lengths would you actually go to, in order to delete it from your schedule?

AB: I hate scooping my dog’s poop. I use old newspaper and grocery store bags. I’m almost certain that these companies have been using cheaper bags due to recession. Sometimes the bags have holes in them. That’s a bad dog-walking day when the bag has a hole in it, that’s for sure.

I have a very elaborate system for getting my dog to poop in places that won’t require scooping—such as the big empty lot that no one seems to care about.  I try to slow down my pace at such places—giving him every chance in the world to poop there. I say things like, “Go to the bathroom” over and over again, because I’m neurotic and I like to imagine that my dog understands things like that. Usually he decides he’s just not feeling it at that moment. Then, at the next house, he drops his load and I’m like, “Are you TRYING to torture me?!”

TDN: What would you change about your work, industry, profession or self if you could change anything?

AB: I embrace change and am continually changing myself into a new person. At the moment, I’m trying to become a more compassionate, loving being. I’m also trying to become more passionate in bed. I also wish I had more energy and that I worried a lot less than I do. Those latter two things are directly related, because the unnecessary worry saps my energy.

As for what I would change about my profession, it would have to be the value people place on writing. I’ve managed to make a good living as a writer, but many writers don’t, and it’s not necessarily because they lack the talent. It depresses me that so many large websites ask professional writers to write for free or for sweatshop wages. It should be illegal to pay $5 for a blog post—considering the fact that it takes most people an hour or more to write one. That’s less than the minimum wage. High school dropouts can earn more by flipping burgers at a fast food restaurant.

TDN: Is there any life stage or event you would have skipped (like geometry) on the way to where you are now? Would it have been missed?

I’ve had some traumatic things happen to me that I don’t like to talk about or think about, but I would not undo them. They’ve shaped me into who I am, and I strongly believe that they’ve made me a better writer. People who read my blog often write to me and tell me that I make them feel normal and understood. I think that’s because I know pain, and knowing pain helps me to empathize with others.

That said, I would definitely skip that stage in school (roughly 7th grade through 12th) when I felt like a complete dork. I was a shy, introverted kid, and I always thought that the other kids were making fun of me behind my back. I also had terrible self- esteem. I thought I was ugly. I thought I was fat. I thought I was a dweeb. I thought this so strongly that I rarely allowed someone to take a photo of me, and most of the photos that people did take I later threw away. Sometimes I look at some of the few photos that I do have from this time period and I think, “Why did you think you were fat and ugly? You so were not.”

TDN: What was your main stepping stone to getting to where you are today? (Person, place, thing, luck, pluck, virtue?)

AB: During my sophomore year of college, I had the privilege of taking a class from a visiting professor who’d once been the editor in chief of a small, but incredibly well respected newspaper—one that had won a number of Pulitzers. I missed the first week of class because my maternal grandmother had died, and I spent most of that semester in a deep depression. He seemed to understand my grief implicitly. Toward the end of the semester, I mentioned that I was struggling to find a summer internship. He said that he knew the editor in chief at a Colorado newspaper. He picked up the phone, called this editor, told him that I was “one of his best students” and suggested that he would be lucky to have me as an intern. That internship led to me landing another one at a larger paper—the one that eventually hired me upon graduation.

Later in my career, an editor hired me to work on his biggest book of the year. The entire publishing house had high hopes for the book, and everyone all the way up to the company CEO had their fingers in the dough. It was only the second book I’d ever ghosted, so I was honored that he trusted me enough to handle such an important project for him. That book was my first best seller. It launched my ghosting career in a big way.

Of course, I’d be totally remiss if I didn’t mention the impact of that my almost-failed marriage had on my career. If I hadn’t have once thought my husband dead and then done the hard work to save my marriage, I would never have started doing the type of writing I am doing today. I had no idea that experiential writing was inside of me until I had the marriage experience to write about. Once I started writing about my marriage, I couldn’t stop. The essays, blogs and life stories seemed to ooze out of every orifice. Now it’s hard for me to imagine NOT doing this type of writing. It seems as if this is what I was born to do—to share these experiences with others.

TDN: What word or phrase do you say most often?

AB: I’d love to tell you that it’s “blowjob,” but I abuse the words “actually” and “really.” I actually think that I really do. Like that.

TDN: What is your single biggest accomplishment?

AB: I am proud of many accomplishments. I’ve written best sellers. I’ve run marathons. I’ve delivered speeches that have gotten the audience rolling on the floor laughing, despite my incredible fear of public speaking. I’ve launched a successful business. I’ve taught myself the finer points of the US tax code. I even once helped to put out a real fire.

On my deathbed, though, when I look back over my life, I will be most thankful for one thing–that I took the time to get pregnant and have a baby. It’s not as if I had to work all that hard to get the egg and sperm to unite and then eventually grow into a baby. But that baby? She’s my gift from God.

TDN: Is there anything that you can’t live without? (besides food, water and oxygen)

AB: I love words. I love how they sound. I love the process of stringing them together. I love trying to use them to accomplish certain feats—to get people to laugh, to think, to emote. I love working with words in a way that some people love playing video games. It’s timeless for me. It’s joy. If I couldn’t write, I’d probably end up in a mental health ward.

TDN: What’s the best part of your life?

AB: That it’s mine to live, and that I have found a way to get paid to do something I love to do.

TDN: And have you figured out how to get more of it?

AB: I’m constantly imagining types of projects that I want to work on—books I want to write, authors who I’d like to work with, stories I’d like to tell. Once I know what I want, I create a map that will get me from where I am and to that writing goal. On my good days, I believe that anything is possible for me. That belief allows me to persistently take one step after another toward that goal. Yes, sometimes I get sidetracked. Sometimes I get lost. But it’s the belief that anything is possible coupled with the persistence that arises from that belief that always, without fail, gets me back on the right path.

TDN: Who do you most admire?

AB: I admire many people. I admire other writers—Malcolm Gladwell, Elizabeth Gilbert, Joyce Carol Oates, Joan Didion, Gloria Steinem, David Sedaris, Nora Ephron, Barbara Kingsolver—for their craft—how they use words, how they tell stories, how they argue a point. I admire certain spiritual leaders—especially people like Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi for teaching us to never give up on good. And I admire many regular every day people for making me laugh, for allowing me to feel loved, and for encouraging me to be the best person that I can be.

TDN: What is your ultimate motivation tool?

AB: Myself. I am my own boss from hell.

TDN: If someone wanted to be you or do what you do, what would you say to them?

AB: Do it because you love it, and not because you want to make money, become famous, or earn the respect of others. Writing isn’t about you and it’s not about your ego. It’s about joy and it’s about making a difference. If you write for others—to help them, to make them feel normal, to lighten their load, to brighten their day–success will follow.

To read more from the creator of The Daily Norm…go here.

Andy Mitchell: Producer, Director of Photography, Writer for Documentary Films

Andy Mitchell, or ‘Mitch’ as his friends call him, is a documentary filmmaker who’s worked on films that have won Emmys of all things. A large portion of his time has been spent with National Geographic, but since 2005, he’s worked independently – nabbing the best projects. His work sends him all over the world, under water, on mountain tops and beyond. In his own words:

“Today my office is the world. During the past seven years, I’ve had a backstage pass to the world, which has landed me in dozens of countries. So far, in my office, I’ve been attacked by a tapir and burned by a Portuguese man-of-war. I’ve been bitten by venomous ants on three continents and woken up by a scorpion’s sting. But the thing is, I love my office more than I ever dreamed I could. I’ve ridden in submarines; swum in the Panama Canal; worked to save scarlet macaw babies; drunk rum with tropical lighthouse keepers; wrestled crocodiles; cheered on egg-laying sea turtles; snuggled with lions and tigers, pumas and cheetahs; ridden elephants; swum in all four oceans; and snowmobiled through the nothingness of the Arctic into a never-setting sun.”

Interview

The Daily Norm: My readers and I would like to make sure you are, in fact, human – it levels the ‘normalcy’ playing field. So do you eat, go to the bathroom, bleed and cry?

Andy Mitchell: Normalcy is a relative thing. I sweat like a pig… but don’t bleed anywhere near as much as I used to.  Unfortunately that invincibility shield that miraculously kept me alive is wearing off… (that and having a kid.)  The kid changes everything.  I cry way too much… like, way too much.  Little House on the Prairie… oh yeah.  Pa was always so right on. Of all the bodily fluids to involuntarily excrete—tears aren’t so bad.  Which brings me to the bathroom… without being too graphic, let’s just say my poop right now probably isn’t as normal as most peoples. Living in the swamps of Congo for a while will do that to you. I’m planning the next big diet craze… the Parasite Diet—a few bugs and you’re down 30 pounds in just a few weeks.

TDN: What’s your daily schedule on a normal day?

AM: I have no normal day. A blessing and a curse. One day I’ll jump out of a helicopter into shark infested waters—and the next, go to the petting zoo with my kid. I pet wild lions, get charged by silverback Gorillas, and discover Mayan ruins—but I’m never happier than when I’m at home—family and friends, roaring fire, comfort food, a glass of wine (maybe a joint), and nothing to do but appreciate that very moment. It’s lucky to be in the moment that really matters—and actually realize it. That is what I live for.

TDN: Name one thing that you have to do on a regular basis that you despise. What lengths would you actually go to, in order to delete it from your schedule?

AM: Leaving home is the hardest thing I have to do. But coming home is so great that it almost… almost makes it worth it.

TDN: What would you change about your work, industry, profession or self if you could change anything?

AM: There are countless things I’d change about my work, industry and my profession… but I find myself ranting about those things far too much already.  The world is flawed.  Deal with it.  But the one area I feel I can make some progress is in myself.  Being the one in my circle of college friends believed least likely to do anything—I’ve made some progress, but still have a LONG way to go.  Among my many problems—vice.  I like vices… and have quite a few.  They’re really good coping mechanisms.  Luckily—kids help change that too.

TDN: Is there any life stage or event you would have skipped (like geometry) on the way to where you are now? Would it have been missed?

AM: I could have added some… but wouldn’t skip a thing.  All the bumps and bruises, arrests and giant embarrassments along the way make you the twisted person you become.  There are many things I’d like to forget, but not erase. I thank whatever entity kept me alive through my youth. I loved Geometry.

TDN: What was your main stepping stone to getting to where you are today? (Person, place, thing, luck, pluck, virtue?)

AM: I really sucked at school. Really sucked (except for geometry). But for some reason the working world inspired me.  Luckily, I developed an intense drive the day I left college. But that’s not the question. I got ahead by whoring myself out to whomever would have me (not in a dirty way), if there was something I could learn… I volunteered for any and every opportunity I could—and was ready to do anything. Get coffee, buy extra large condoms (long story), or drive through a tornado (also a long story). There is nothing worse to me than entitlement. Real accomplishment is earned with hard work.

TDN: What word or phrase do you say most often?

AM: Well, our child’s daycare would probably tell you it’s “fuck”.

TDN: What is your single biggest accomplishment?

AM: Finding my soul mate and procreating, hands down. Again… so cliché, but my family has given me an emotional perspective like I’ve never experienced. A bump in the road that once would have floored me for days, leaving that pit in my stomach… now seems so manageable. Which makes it manageable.

TDN: Is there anything that you can’t live without? (besides food, water and oxygen)

AM: Sleep?

TDN: What’s the best part of your life?

AM: I’m getting redundant here… but family and friends. Love really is the best thing out there. My ultimate drug.

TDN: And have you figured out how to get more of it?

AM: I’m just trying to not lose what I already have.

TDN: What is your ultimate motivation tool?

AM: Will you hold it against me if I said vice? And fear of failure?

TDN: If someone wanted to be you or do what you do, what would you say to them?

AM: I would tell anyone the same thing. Figure out what you want to do. Figure out how to do it. Do it. It sounds so simple, but when done with realistic expectations—it’s the best chance you got.

Banker White: Filmmaker, Artist & Activist

Banker White is the co-director and producer of the multi-international award-winning documentary Sierra Leone’s Refugee All Stars. The film was nominated by the International Documentary Association for best feature in 2006 and was broadcast in North America on PBS and internationally in Latin America, Japan and Korea.

His WeOwnTV project is a 2008 Creative Capital grantee and was a 2008 Bay Area Video Coalition Media Maker Award recipient. Banker is a multi-disciplinary artist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is the 2009 recipient of a California Council for the Humanities California Documentary Project grant.  Recent work includes Director of photography for the music video ‘Epilepsy is Dancing’ 2009 by recording artist Antony and the Johnsons directed by the Wachowski Brothers (of The Matrix fame) and Director/Producer for the music video, ‘ The Oldest Trick’ for Canadian recording artist Chris Velan.

The Interview

The Daily Norm: My readers and I would like to make sure you are, in fact, human- it levels the ‘normalcy’ playing field. So do you eat, go to the bathroom, bleed and cry? We’re happy to hear some proof if you want to supply it…

Banker White: Wow, eating, bleeding and crying, if that makes me human, I am most definitely human. I love to eat, don’t even consider it a flaw. All flavors, shapes and sizes, too.  Also very prone to accidents.  I get excited about things and forget my body is human (and not as young as it used to be). It’s almost a daily event to find small bruises and scrapes that I can’t trace back to the incident that caused them. I have a titanium wrist that I got after a bad skateboarding fall. Body definitely not as young as it used to be, but at least still trying, right? Tears flow in movies, always have, but recently went through an embarrassing spell of tearing up during commercials.

TDN: What’s your daily schedule on a normal day?

BW: I get up around 8. I check iPhone/email way too early, sometimes shuffling into the bathroom. Wish it weren’t true,  but it is. You east coasters get a three hour start on me. Damn thing is a blessing and a curse. Shower, stretch, coffee, commute to my office/studio in the Mission (San Francisco).  If I’m lucky, that’s when the normalcy ends. Office time can be very creative. Watching, thinking, writing, editing – but that damn iPhone/email interrupts me there sometimes, too.

And then there are production trips – which I love the most. Usually nothing normal about it.  Each trip is different, each day is different. I love being out in the world, engaging with people, talking about things I’m passsionate about – learning, seeing, capturing beautiful images.  That’s when I know I really love what I do for work.

TDN: Name one thing that you have to do on a regular basis that you despise. What lengths would you actually go to, in order to delete it from your schedule?

BW: I want to say paying bills, but that would be too easy. It’s emailing. My addictive personality and distractable nature does not mesh well 24 connectivity. Hard to stay focused. Wait, are potential freelance clients going to read this? Am I being too honest?

I need my quiet time to work. I cherish it. My cell hardly works in my new office.  I kind of like it. I don’t open web browsers or email programs when I’m editing.

TDN: What would you change about your work, industry, profession or self if you could change anything?

BW: It’s a really interesting time to be a ‘media maker’.  That term means so many different things right now, and it should.  It should should reflect the billions of perspectives and experiences out there in the world. Social media and the web are leveling the playing field for independents to have an impact,  but I don’t know…. I like to be aware of distribution channels that exist, remember to stay creative and not waste too much time worrying. I want to try and recognize what my strengths are,  and stay passionately engaged in what I am doing at any given moment.  This is what I’m working on now.

TDN: Is there any life stage or event you would have skipped (like geometry) on the way to where you are now? Would it have been missed?

BW: Not really. I am a day dreamer so I probably did skip those events in a way, looking out the window, doodling in a notepad or off in some magical thinking adventure as the school day/work day/medical/dental procedure passed me by.

TDN: What was your main stepping stone to getting to where you are today? (Person, place, thing, luck, pluck, virtue?)

BW: Wow! That is a hard question to answer. I think I have had lots of stones. I’ve always identified as an artist.  This came from my Mana – my mom’s mom. I always identified as an individual, but was surrounded by loving friends and family.

TDN: What word or phrase do you say most often?

BW: Wow!

TDN: What is your single biggest accomplishment?

BW: The Sierra Leone’s Refugee All Stars film. It has been the most difficult and rewarding project of my career and it has had a profound effect on my creative process.  I feel very emotionally connected to that project and the people and subjects in it.  I made the film with a group of my best friends from college, so it had a special feeling from the start.  More than anything else it was opening up to the process of deep collaboration.  I was more of a ‘Fine Arts’ artist before this project and always worked alone in my studio.  Letting myself feel a deep sense of responsibility to my co-workers and the subjects of the film is what affected me the most.

Optional ad on??? I am so grateful to all the members of the All Stars band and to their families for being so open with us, and for having the bravery to share openly so many painful details of their lives with us and with the world. I learned that their openness had to be matched by our own  – and that our own emotional commitment grew as they shared more and more with us.

TDN: Is there anything that you can’t live without? (besides food, water and oxygen)

BW: Music.  I have no desire to be involved with music professionally, but I need it as a part of my daily life. Like a spiritual practice. It is so immediate and full of emotions and ideas. I need to listen to it, to play it, to dance to it.

..oh and my family too.

TDN: What’s the best part of your life?

BW: Why are the easiest ones always the hardest ones? I think it is being creative. Those times when I feel truly engaged in a creative act. And it can be anywhere; on a canvas, playing music, on the computer, writing, talking.

TDN: And have you figured out how to get more of it?

BW: By continuing to search for it…

TDN: What is your ultimate motivation tool?

BW: Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines. The bring excitement, responsibility and fear. Not sure in which order.

TDN: If someone wanted to be you or do what you do, what would you say to them?

BW: There’s a tiny door in my office on Floor 7½ of the Mertin Flemmer Building in New York City. It’s a portal and it takes you inside my mind. You see the world through my eyes… and then after about 15 minutes, you’re spit out… into a ditch on the side of the Mass Turnpike.

________________________

Follow Banker and We Own TV on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube

John Grogan, Best-selling author (we’re talking 5 million copies sold…and a movie…and a fantastic NEW book)

During a successful career as a journalist and columnist, John Grogan wrote a farewell article to his crazy yellow lab, Marley, and the rest, as they say…is an international best-seller and a major motion picture staring Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston.

John’s writing books full-time now and recently released his second book – a memoir called, The Longest Trip Home. You see, John Grogan started from humble beginnings laden with Catholicism, pudginess, an out of control head of hair, a knack for causing a lot of trouble and a natural gift for writing. I can’t put it down – being most drawn to the rawly authentic way he’s matched his writing and his storytelling so precisely to the mood, age and level of innocence he actually had when he lived each precious piece of life as a boy in Michigan.

The Interview

The Daily Norm: My readers and I would like to make sure you are, in fact, human – it levels the ‘normalcy’ playing field. So do you eat, go to the bathroom, bleed and cry? We’re happy to hear some proof if you want to supply it…

John Grogan: Guilty as charged of all of the above. Love to eat, and I confess to having no self-restraint while on book tour with a HarperCollins Amex card burning a hole in my pocket. Bring on the crème brulée! And yes, I wept like a baby while writing the ending chapters of both Marley & Me and The Longest Trip Home. What a wimp I am. (It’s okay, John…we all cried like babies. In fact, I also recall hyperventilating…)

TDN: What’s your daily schedule on a normal day?

JG: In February 2007, I quit my job as a columnist at the Philadelphia Inquirer to work on books full-time. Ten months later, I had a finished manuscript of The Longest Trip Home. I thought I would miss newspapers after a 20-plus-year career, but I’ve been plenty busy without the day job. On a typical day I get up about 7, make strong coffee, read the New York Times, check email, then begin my to-do list: On some days it’s to write another chapter, on others to weed the garden. Throw into the mix blogs, contracts, speaking engagements, bookstore appearances, and of course Twitter and Facebook, and my days are pretty full. Try to find time for a walk around our 19-acre mini-farm each day, too.  I usually take a break when my kids get home from school, but then work into the night, usually until 1 a.m. or so.

TDN: Name one thing that you have to do on a regular basis that you despise. What lengths would you actually go to, in order to delete it from your schedule?

JG: Anything to do with taxes and the IRS. Paying the tab is bad enough, but the paperwork and bureaucracy drive me insane — even with the help of a good accountant. When you have a book out in 40-odd different countries, that’s a lot of paperwork and arcane tax code to go around. I fantasize moving to Antarctica where there would be no tax forms, just penguins, which are way cuter.

TDN: What would you change about your work, industry, profession or self if you could change anything?

JG: I’d make myself a little less neurotic about my writing. I live in constant fear that a single burp, hiccup, or sideways glance will shatter my writing mojo and dry up the words.

TDN: Is there any life stage or event you would have skipped (like geometry) on the way to where you are now? Would it have been missed?

JG: I could have pulled a Rip Van Winkle snooze through all of 10th grade and no one would have missed me, nor would I have missed a thing in my education. I write about the write-off year in The Longest Trip Home. Let’s just say I didn’t handle the transition from regimented Catholic education to public schools very well.

TDN: What was your main stepping stone to getting to where you are today? (Person, place, thing, luck, pluck, virtue?)

JG: Two teachers really helped: A Catholic brother my freshman year who saw I had some writing talent, but knew I was sloppy and lazy. He rode my ass relentlessly until I finally realized good writing takes more than raw ability; it takes a lot of hard work. A later teacher saw some glimmer of promise in me and encouraged me to start journaling. Those journals were my first step toward a career of first-person narrative writing.

TDN: What word or phrase do you say most often?

JG: “So, anyways…”

TDN: What is your single biggest accomplishment?

JG: Most people would expect me to say Marley & Me, a first book that totally changed my life. Actually, it’s my three beautiful, wonderful, funny children who, while admittedly accelerating the graying of my hair, bring me immeasurable joy and pride.

TDN: Is there anything that you can’t live without? (besides food, water and oxygen)

JG: Good, live music. (OK, the real answer is sex, but I didn’t say that.)

TDN: What’s the best part of your life?

JG: After my family? The relationship I have with readers. I receive emails and letters every day from all over the world, and they not only warm my heart, they give me the creative jolt I need to keep going. At my book signings, I swear I’ve met some of the nicest humans on the planet.

TDN: And have you figured out how to get more of it?

JG: Write more books.

TDN: Who do you most admire? Why?

JG: Men (and women too) who can hand-cut a perfect dovetail joint, drop a tree on a dime, and survive handily if tossed inadvertently into the deepest, most inhospitable wilderness. I’d also love to have dinner with Bill Clinton.

TDN: What is your ultimate motivation tool?

JG: Travel. Usually on about Day 4 of any trip, I begin to unwind and the words and ideas start coming in rapid fire. Problem is, I usually don’t get around to writing them down.

TDN: If someone wanted to be you or do what you do, what would you say to them?

JG: Watch what you wish for.

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Where to find John Grogan:
www.johngroganbooks.com
Twitter
Facebook

And, if you want to read more from Julie Roads, creator of The Daily Norm, go here.

Alexa DiCarlo, Sex Educator, Sex Worker and Sex Worker Rights Activist

My name is Alexa, and I am a 24-year old professional companion based in San Francisco.  I am originally from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and moved to the Bay Area to attend graduate school, where I am working on a degree in human sexuality.  When I complete my Masters here, I intend to go on and pursue my PhD or EdD in sex education, and hope to become a professional sex educator at some point.  I’ve been teaching people about sex for over nine years now, and it just seems as though it’s a natural fit for me.

I maintain two blogs under my Alexa persona.  The first is my personal blog, Real Princess Diaries, where I talk about my work and about many other things related to human sexuality (and the occasional other subject that strikes my fancy).  The second is a site called My First Professional Sex, which is a blog I recently started to allow sex workers (escorts, call girls, porn stars, strippers, professional dommes and submissives, massage artists, and other people who work in the sex industry) to explain to the world why they do what they do and how they got started.  It was my way of countering the bogus claims of all of the anti-sex work shills who get all of the attention on this subject.

Interview

The Daily Norm: My readers and I would like to make sure you are, in fact, human – it levels the ‘normalcy’ playing field. So do you eat, go to the bathroom, bleed and cry? We’re happy to hear some proof if you want to supply it…

Alexa DiCarlo: You know, one thing I do that is kind of embarrassing to me is cry every time I pass a rabbit that has been hit by a car or something.  I used to raise and show rabbits, and I just have an affinity for them.  So when I see one that is lying on the side of the road, my mind goes through all sorts of machinations about his little rabbit friends coming by to pay their respects, mourning him and so forth.  And when I go by the spot later and he’s not there any longer, I imagine that he’s been carried away and buried by them.  I once hit a rabbit with my car and it devastated me – I couldn’t stop crying and had to cancel whatever it was I was headed off to do that morning.

I don’t bleed any longer, though. Does that make me less than human?  Superhuman, perhaps?  I’m on Lybrel, which means I don’t have a period for a year at a time.  That is what you were referring to, right?

TDN: What’s your daily schedule on a normal day?

Alexa: I lead what most would consider a very boring life, with moments of sheer ecstasy here and there.

On most days, if I don’t have an early morning appointment, I’ll usually wake up between 7:00 and 8:00AM.  I get up and eat breakfast while I check all of the web sites I run, catch up on e-mails that have accumulated through the night, etc.  If I have some reading or homework to do for classes, then I’ll do that before I jump back online and spend time catching up on what’s going on.  I participate in a variety of forums (under both my Alexa identity and a couple of others), and will spend much of the day working there and writing for my blogs and other stuff.

If I have a morning appointment (I have one regular client who I see at 6AM each weekday morning when he’s in town), I’ll get up around 5:30, go see him for about an hour, then come home and do the above.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have classes in town that last about 3 hours each, so that interrupts those days.

If I have clients during the afternoon or (more commonly) in the evening, I’ll shower and get dolled up to go see them.  I only see 3 or 4 clients per week at most (mostly for 2-4 hours each).  The balance of my time is spent maintaining my dozen or so web sites (again, some under my Alexa persona, others under other names).  I am a counselor on a couple of web sites related to sexuality – so I spend considerable time on those answering questions and whatnot.  I’ll typically go to bed between 10PM and midnight.

On some nights when I don’t have a client, I’ll go out dancing or go to a club to pick up a woman and bring her back to my place for some fun and frivolity.  When the urge hits me, I’ll go on a short vacation from time to time as well.  That’s one of the benefits of my job – an extremely flexible schedule.

TDN: Name one thing that you have to do on a regular basis that you despise. What lengths would you actually go to, in order to delete it from your schedule?

Alexa: I hate going to class.  Even though I very much enjoy learning, I hate having to get dressed, walk to class and sit through three hours of lecture twice a week.  If I could I would absorb all information through some form of osmosis.  I’m not disciplined enough to take online or telework classes, though, so going is the only way I can learn effectively.

TDN: What would you change about your work, industry, profession or self if you could change anything?

Alexa: I would change the stigma associated with sex work.  People have this media- and ignorance-induced concept of what being a prostitute is like, and the reality for those of us who do private work is nothing like what most people envision.  The people who make it seem as though we’re all drug-addicted, sexually-abused, can’t get a “real job” lowlifes are the ones who seem to get all of the attention.  The people who do this work and can speak intelligently about it are rarely heard, and when we are, we’re not believed.  I’d change it so that we at least get equal footing with the anti-prostitution crowd.  That was the primary impetus for the My First Professional Sex web site, in fact.

TDN: Is there any life stage or event you would have skipped (like geometry) on the way to where you are now? Would it have been missed?

Alexa: I could’ve done without 7th grade.  Up to that point, I’d been home schooled, and my first year in public school was quite awkward for me.  By the time 8th grade rolled around, I’d gotten the hang of things and began to get my footing, though.

TDN: What was your main stepping stone to getting to where you are today? (Person, place, thing, luck, pluck, virtue?)

Alexa: I don’t know that I could point to a single stone.  I am pretty much a go-getter.  When I see something I want, or when I decide to do something, I do an incredible amount of research before I jump in.  With respect to my current job, I did an honors project for my degree in which I interviewed several escorts, and was incredibly impressed with them to a person. When I decided to enter this line of work, I queried a number of current and former escorts, and many of them provided a tremendous amount of guidance and insight into what I needed to do to get it right.  I owe several of them a great deal of gratitude.

TDN: What word or phrase do you say most often?

Alexa: I use the words “absolutely” and “anyway” far too often.

TDN: What is your single biggest accomplishment?

Alexa: Graduating magna cum laude from a prestigious private university.  That took some serious effort, and a change of majors that resulted in me spending five years in school rather than the four I’d hoped.

TDN: Is there anything that you can’t live without? (besides food, water and oxygen)

Alexa: My Internet connectivity.  The Internet is my lifeline to the world and provides me with access to education, information, etc., and provides a significant part of my social existence, as well as connecting me with clients and others who work in the industry I’m in.  It also provides me a platform and conduit through which I can help other people, which is a big part of who I am – who I want to be.  I think I’d wither away and die if I completely lost my Net connection.

TDN: What’s the best part of your life?

Alexa: The best part of my life right now is my job.  I get paid to have sex with people (usually – sometimes it involves no sex at all).  Not only does it pay extremely well, but I get to set my own schedule, control my own destiny, see who I wish to see, etc.  I have a decent-sized savings account and investments for my future; I’m 24 and don’t owe anyone any money at all.  Things are just clicking extremely well for me right now.

TDN: And have you figured out how to get more of it?

Alexa: I could lower my rates.  Haha!  Seriously, though, things are at an equilibrium and I prefer they stay that way.  My rates and schedule are designed to keep me from overdoing it with that part of my life.

TDN: Who do you most admire? Why?

Alexa: I’m going to cheat and say that I admire women as a group.  Women are such special creatures and so very misunderstood or intentionally ignored by the power structures in our world.  Even when women participate in those power structures, they often seem to lose touch with their femaleness and their sense of community with women as a whole, so things don’t get better for us.  We’ve made progress, to be sure, but have so far to go to rid the world of misogyny, sexism, inequality and all of that.  That we live in that kind of environment and manage to thrive and succeed is awe-inspiring to me.

TDN: What is your ultimate motivation tool?

Alexa: Sex is my motivational tool.  And I don’t mean that in the way the casual reader would first presume I would.

I think human sexuality is one of the least understood concepts humans deal with, and one of the tools used to control us by those who feel the drive and need to exert their authoritarianism on others.  It’s an easy tool to use because people are so scared of it and so frightened to speak out publicly about it.  I mean, think about it, you can’t even talk positively about sex a a pleasurable experience in any venue these days without huge groups of people getting all up in arms about it.

It’s my intent to do everything I can to change those perceptions – to force people to talk about it, talk about people doing it professionally, talk about how to get people to communicate about it, both on an interpersonal level with their partners and society at large, to talk about teenagers and children as sexual beings (you want to see some people freak out – advocate teaching teenagers that sex can be a pleasurable experience rather than just trying to scare them with facts and figures about STDs and pregnancy).  A lot of that is controversial, sure, but until we begin to treat sexuality with some modicum of rationality and deal with it publicly, we’re never going to wrest ourselves from the control freaks who use it to coerce and punish people (often hypocritically, I might add).

TDN: If someone wanted to be you or do what you do, what would you say to them?

Alexa: Oh, gosh.  If they wanted to do what I do (and I get a lot of inquiries from women about doing the work I do), I usually tell them to get a copy of Amanda Brooks’ book, The Internet Escort’s Handbook, Volume I, and read it. She explains what it takes to do this kind of work, what it involves, the risks and the rewards, and so forth. I’ve always said if you are one who can easily do one-night stands, it is just a small psychological jump to being able to do it for money. If you think you can do it, and Amanda’s book confirms it for you, then do your research, talk to women who are doing it (some will talk, some won’t), go about setting your business up, and have at it. Just make sure you understand the bad parts that go along with the good parts.  Some women discover they’re born for this kind of work and excel at it.

The Bloggess (Jenny Lawson), Blogger, Mother, Humorist

The Bloggess is a blog favorite who regales us with stories about playing with Guy Kawasaki on Navy aircraft carriers in the middle of the ocean, kidnapping Project Runway’s Tim Gunn and (in)appropriate dosages of Xanax on her own blog. She also writes Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle, a satirical sex column, a horrible advice column and she twitters a lot. Her husband is Victor. Her 4-year-old is Hailey. Her pug is Barnaby Jones Pickles.

Interview

The Daily Norm: My readers and I would like to make sure you are, in fact, human – it levels the ‘normalcy’ playing field. So do you eat, go to the bathroom, bleed and cry? We’re happy to hear some proof if you want to supply it…

The Bloggess: I have a really bad anxiety disorder so I spend my entire life hiding in a bathroom.  So much so that when people are looking for me at parties or events they immediately go to the bathroom to find me.  I am always there.

TDN: What’s your daily schedule on a normal day?

The Bloggess: Wake up, take Hailey to school, consider showering, download bad porn to inspire me to write my sex column, get bored with porn, wonder how my life got to be like this, check Twitter to see who I’ve offended, post blogs about embarrassing myself, fight with my husband about cheese, pick up Hailey from school, watch Ghost Hunters, read bedtime stories, make a wine slushy, pretend to sleep – but instead sneak out of bed when husband is play on the internet.

TDN: Name one thing that you have to do on a regular basis that you despise. What lengths would you actually go to, in order to delete it from your schedule?

The Bloggess: I have to take a chemo drug for my rheumatoid arthritis and it makes me throw up a lot.  I’d prefer not to throw up any more.

TDN: What would you change about your work, industry, profession or self if you could change anything?

The Bloggess: I want to finish my book.  I am a giant procrastinator.

TDN: Is there any life stage or event you would have skipped (like geometry) on the way to where you are now? Would it have been missed?

The Bloggess: All the crap things that happened to me made me who I am today.  So I guess I’d skip everything.

TDN: What was your main stepping stone to getting to where you are today? (Person, place, thing, luck, pluck, virtue?)

The Bloggess: My mom and grandmother who taught me “It’s nice to be important, but it’s important to be nice”.  And my husband for buying me a snowcone machine.  And Guy Kawasaki for actually thinking I’m funny rather than putting a
restraining order on me.

TDN: What word or phrase do you say most often?

The Bloggess: “Fuck”.  Or maybe “the”.  I say “the” a lot.

TDN: What is your single biggest accomplishment?

The Bloggess: Having my daughter.  I have a rare blood disease so I had to give myself hundreds of shots in the stomach to keep her alive.  Totally worth it. She’s kind of kick-ass for a kid.

TDN: Is there anything that you can’t live without? (besides food, water and oxygen)

The Bloggess: Xanax

TDN: What’s the best part of your life?

The Bloggess: The people in it.

TDN: And have you figured out how to get more of it?

The Bloggess: No.  I’m lucky that weird people gravitate toward me.  I always have lots of weird people around.

TDN: Who do you most admire? Why?

The Bloggess: Dorothy Parker.  She was witty on paper and in real life.  I’m struggling to even master the first.

TDN: What is your ultimate motivation tool?

The Bloggess: Fear of giant squid.

(She’s not kidding)

TDN: If someone wanted to be you or do what you do, what would you say to them?

The Bloggess: I would ignore them because they obviously have me confused for someone else.

Chris Velan, Indie Musician

For Chris Velan, arrival at the intersection of experience and opportunity occurred in the form of a phone call from two college friends who were making a documentary about a group of musicians in war-torn Sierra Leone. Although he had been a student of classical guitar from the age of nine and a veteran of the Canadian band scene, he had recently embarked towards a career as a human rights lawyer in his native Montreal. After the grind of law school and a year of life as an apprentice attorney, he made the decision that would change his course personally and professionally; he opted for the meaningful over the mundane.

His subsequent experiences in Africa left an indelible mark that would govern his choices as he contemplated future life once the film project was complete. His involvement with Sierra Leone’s Refugee All-Stars (he produced their album and often performs with them) showed him that there is power in music that transcends even the law and put him literally on the road to making a career as a singer/songwriter.

The Interview

The Daily Norm: My readers and I would like to make sure you are, in fact, human – it levels the ‘normalcy’ playing field. So do you eat, go to the bathroom, bleed and cry? We’re happy to hear some proof if you want to supply it…

Chris Velan: I am terminally human.  I habitually spend my morning hours in my underwear, sometimes forgetting to put on pants altogether. When sharing the road with other drivers, I deem to be bad/slow/careless, I get a form of Tourette’s syndrome that involves uncontrollably spewing out expletives that make no sense whatsoever (Causing me to feel doubly ashamed for my outbreak and my lack of creative wit).

I seem utterly incapable of recognizing when my girlfriend, Sara, has had her hair done. I found myself crying the other day at the scene in the animated film, Up!, in which the old man loses his wife to cancer.

TDN: What’s your daily schedule on a normal day? (being as specific or general as you care to be)

CV: If I’m at home and not on tour….

I wake up at the crack of 9, drink at least two soy lattés (prepared by my girlfriend who refuses to let me operate our temperamental ’85 Gaggia machine), spend several hours chipping away at my email inbox (a task that could be completed by a more focused individual in probably 20 minutes), and go down to my basement studio where I try to write new material and rehearse for upcoming shows. Somewhere in the middle of all that is lunch, a run or a mountain bike on Mount Royal (or recently a Moksha yoga class up the street).

This linear accounting, however, is misleading. These activities more accurately, get carried out on some Newtonian vector plane that bends time and space such that all things are happening at once and yet not happening at all.

TDN: Name one thing that you have to do on a regular basis that you despise. What lengths would you actually go to, in order to delete it from your schedule?

CV: There are two things that I would strongly prefer not having to deal with on a daily basis (I won’t say despise as it’s such a strong word). The first is emailing, the second is grocery shopping.

I would consider paying someone to do all of my emailing, but, notwithstanding the fact that I have nowhere near the money to hire someone for such a task, I think I would lose a lot of friends quickly if I went down that road.

As far as grocery shopping, I have found to my delight that our fridge and pantry seem to magically generate new food on a regular basis, without my having to go grocery shopping. I feel lucky and blessed for this miracle.

TDN: What would you change about your work, industry, profession or self if you could change anything?

CV: If I could, I would overhaul the music industry to create a system where artists can make more revenue from their art.  Though the Internet is slowly changing this, the current system is fraught with onerous contracts and distribution regimes that are horribly weighted against artists.

TDN: Is there any life stage or event you would have skipped (like geometry) on the way to where you are now? Would it have been missed?

CV: Ah, this is a tricky one because it goes against my belief that all of our life stages and events, no matter how forgetful, misguided or mistaken they may seem, are integral to getting us to where we are now.

I am sometimes tempted to say that the time I spent finishing law school and becoming a lawyer might have yielded interesting results had I directed them towards my development as an artist. But I really value those years for the growth and self-knowledge that they provided me. Ultimately, I needed those years to get to where I am now.

TDN: What was your main stepping stone to getting to where you are today? (Person, place, thing, luck, pluck, virtue?)

CV: Obviously, we have many stepping stones in our life. But when I think back on the moment where the Universe was really screaming at me to head in a certain direction, it was when I was at the end of my articling year (a year of student lawyering that we do in Canada before we do the bar) working at a law firm in Vancouver. After a year of busting my ass, I didn’t get offered a position. At the same moment, events had conspired to create the opportunity to travel to Guinea in West Africa to make a documentary film about refugee musicians with two friends from college. Following the Theodore Lytton quote from Journey To the Center of the Earth that “Unexpected invitations to travel are like dancing lessons from God”, I decided to go to Guinea. The experience was a transformative one that reminded me of my deep need to create music, and I returned home with that as my new life goal.

TDN: What word or phrase do you say most often?

CV: I don’t seem to have a catch phrase. I wish I did! I could lie and make something up, though…

TDN: What is your single biggest accomplishment?

CV: Honestly, I don’t feel that I have one, single biggest accomplishment. I’m proud of the three albums I’ve put out to date. I’m proud of being a part of the Refugee All Stars project. But I’m also proud of my everyday efforts to continue along this challenging and sometimes difficult artist path that I’ve chosen. I’m proud of that personal endeavour to honour my own truth. It feels right in my heart.

TDN: Is there anything that you can’t live without? (besides food, water and oxygen)

CV: Music and love.

TDN: What’s the best part of your life?

CV: Being able to make a living (sort of) writing songs.

TDN: And have you figured out how to get more of it?

CV: I’m learning more and more every day on how to incorporate creating music into my life. But alas, there are much more powerful forces at play than just my “figuring things out”.

TDN: What is your ultimate motivation tool?

CV: I get extremely inspired by the creative efforts of other artists. I’m deeply moved to action by the courage of the others.

TDN: If someone wanted to be you or do what you do, what would you say to them?

CV: Don’t think so much. Be fearless. Trust your instincts. Trust your heart. Enjoy the ride.

_______________________________________________________________________

Chris Velan’s current album (his third), Solidago, is a stunning culmination of influences. From the folk-rock of his youth to the reggae of his college days to the echo of his time in Africa, Chris has created a unique collection of songs that invite listen after listen. Not often will you find a record that juxtaposes the horror of sectarian strife with the hopeful musings of errant love. Solidago achieves this seemingly without effort. The jarring lyrical content of “Wobbly Bones” is brilliantly offset by the lilting dirge that draws the listener to the stark reality of man’s cruelty to man without causing them to look away. Few songwriters working today would be able to make the point without contrivance. Followed by “Oldest Trick”, a sly skewering of our technological world, Solidago reveals itself to have a gravitas missing from most contemporary efforts. Capped by the starkness of “May Your Soul Get to Heaven”, Solidago is an album that begs for a follow-up.

Solidago is available on NewSong Recordings and on iTunes. Check the calendar for U.S. and Canadian tour dates. Pick your Chris Velan social media poison below:

www.chrisvelan.com

www.twitter.com/chrisvelan

www.myspace.com/chrisvelanmusic

www.youtube.com/chrisvelan

www.facebook.com/chrisvelanmusic

www.newsongrecordings.com