The Bloggess (Jenny Lawson), Blogger, Mother, Humorist
The Bloggess is a blog favorite who regales us with stories about playing with Guy Kawasaki on Navy aircraft carriers in the middle of the ocean, kidnapping Project Runway’s Tim Gunn and (in)appropriate dosages of Xanax on her own blog. She also writes Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle, a satirical sex column, a horrible advice column and she twitters a lot. Her husband is Victor. Her 4-year-old is Hailey. Her pug is Barnaby Jones Pickles.
Interview
The Daily Norm: My readers and I would like to make sure you are, in fact, human – it levels the ‘normalcy’ playing field. So do you eat, go to the bathroom, bleed and cry? We’re happy to hear some proof if you want to supply it…
The Bloggess: I have a really bad anxiety disorder so I spend my entire life hiding in a bathroom. So much so that when people are looking for me at parties or events they immediately go to the bathroom to find me. I am always there.
TDN: What’s your daily schedule on a normal day?
The Bloggess: Wake up, take Hailey to school, consider showering, download bad porn to inspire me to write my sex column, get bored with porn, wonder how my life got to be like this, check Twitter to see who I’ve offended, post blogs about embarrassing myself, fight with my husband about cheese, pick up Hailey from school, watch Ghost Hunters, read bedtime stories, make a wine slushy, pretend to sleep – but instead sneak out of bed when husband is play on the internet.
TDN: Name one thing that you have to do on a regular basis that you despise. What lengths would you actually go to, in order to delete it from your schedule?
The Bloggess: I have to take a chemo drug for my rheumatoid arthritis and it makes me throw up a lot. I’d prefer not to throw up any more.
TDN: What would you change about your work, industry, profession or self if you could change anything?
The Bloggess: I want to finish my book. I am a giant procrastinator.
TDN: Is there any life stage or event you would have skipped (like geometry) on the way to where you are now? Would it have been missed?
The Bloggess: All the crap things that happened to me made me who I am today. So I guess I’d skip everything.
TDN: What was your main stepping stone to getting to where you are today? (Person, place, thing, luck, pluck, virtue?)
The Bloggess: My mom and grandmother who taught me “It’s nice to be important, but it’s important to be nice”. And my husband for buying me a snowcone machine. And Guy Kawasaki for actually thinking I’m funny rather than putting a
restraining order on me.
TDN: What word or phrase do you say most often?
The Bloggess: “Fuck”. Or maybe “the”. I say “the” a lot.
TDN: What is your single biggest accomplishment?
The Bloggess: Having my daughter. I have a rare blood disease so I had to give myself hundreds of shots in the stomach to keep her alive. Totally worth it. She’s kind of kick-ass for a kid.
TDN: Is there anything that you can’t live without? (besides food, water and oxygen)
The Bloggess: Xanax
TDN: What’s the best part of your life?
The Bloggess: The people in it.
TDN: And have you figured out how to get more of it?
The Bloggess: No. I’m lucky that weird people gravitate toward me. I always have lots of weird people around.
TDN: Who do you most admire? Why?
The Bloggess: Dorothy Parker. She was witty on paper and in real life. I’m struggling to even master the first.
TDN: What is your ultimate motivation tool?
The Bloggess: Fear of giant squid.
(She’s not kidding)
TDN: If someone wanted to be you or do what you do, what would you say to them?
The Bloggess: I would ignore them because they obviously have me confused for someone else.
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Nice score! Although not really feeling like I got the real Jenny as opposed the the character we all know and love. I guess some people can’t turn it off, or that really is her “norm.” I often wonder if comedians are funny 24/7, I don’t think they can possibly be on all the time. She is funny and if she ever writes a book, I’ll be one of the first to buy it!
Nice score, Julie! Nice interview, Bloggess!
Now I’ve used my maximum allotment of exclamation points for the day, so I guess I’ll have to get back to work, where they aren’t allowed.
Is this the Norm from the Las Vegas paper who is a pirate, and maybe two different kinds of pirate?
Oh, Jenny. How we love her, adore her, and despite what she says, want to be like her! Or stalk her, I can’t decide which it is.
I love the Bloggess but she lost me at ‘get bored with porn.’
I could do that all day if it wasn’t for the chafing.
I didn’t realize the Bloggess was a real live human being with a real name until I read this. It was so nice to get a glimpse of the real Jenny behind the cursing, funny blog. Thanks for giving us this rare peak.
moooooog35, if you read carefully you will see “download bad porn” – emphasis on BAD – which makes “get bored with porn” a lot more understandable.
If people read all of her various writings on the Intertubes for a while, I believe you will reach the same conclusion I have, which is that while she funnys it up pretty good when she writes about herself and her life, that really IS her being “normal” above… which is why she is one of the funniest people on the planet.
Awesome job, Julie and Jenny…nice to get another side of the immortal Bloggess!
Hi Sims, my name isn’t actually norm – this site is about the daily ‘norm’ – the ‘normal’ things that happen in extraordinarily abnormal lives. Sorry I can’t help you with Vegas or pirates!
Whoo Hoo! She’s in Houston. I rarely see bloggers from Houston. She seems like a very interesting lady.