Clearly the most important part of this rabbi’s bio is that we shared our first kiss. I was five, he was four. And I’ve gotta say, I remember it clearly. He’s the kind of guy that makes an impression. He was also one of my best friends and my most magnificent partner in crime for the majority of our single digit years. Here are some other interesting things you should know about him:
Rabbi Doug Heifetz is the rabbi of Oseh Shalom, a 310-household Reconstructionist Jewish community in Laurel, MD. A native of St. Louis, Missouri, Rabbi Heifetz received a Bachelor of Science degree from Georgetown University, where he completed an internationally oriented liberal arts program, focused on Middle Eastern Regional Studies. He also obtained a Certificate in Peace and Justice Studies. After graduation, he worked as a union organizer in Washington, D.C. and Kalispell, Montana, helping low-income working people to pursue social justice.
Rabbi Heifetz attended the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, receiving his rabbinical ordination and Master of Hebrew Letters in 2005, along with certification as a Specialist in the Congregational Rabbinate. He lived in Israel for a year during his studies at the RRC; served as bet midrash intern, assisting rabbinic students in Jewish text and Hebrew study; and was elected student representative to the RRC Board of Governors. He received several honors and awards recognizing his scholarship and commitment to social action and justice. As a student rabbi, he served for two years as the spiritual leader of Congregation Ahavath Sholom in Great Barrington, Massachusetts. Prior to Oseh Shalom, Rabbi Heifetz also served as the part-time rabbi of the Olney Kehila and as a full-time Jewish studies middle school teacher at the Charles E. Smith Jewish Day School in Rockville.
He is married to Elaine Lippmann, a public interest attorney in Washington DC. They live in Silver Spring, MD with their two young children, Judah Heifetz Lippmann and Dalya Heifetz Lippmann.
The Interview
The Daily Norm: My readers and I would like to make sure you are, in fact, human – it levels the ‘normalcy’ playing field. So do you eat, go to the bathroom, bleed and cry? We’re happy to hear some proof if you want to supply it…
Rabbi Doug Heifetz: I drink a lot of coffee. I drink regular in the morning and decaf off-and-on until night. I’m passionate about fitness and nutrition, and occasionally obsessive. These days I work out mostly on my front porch. Although it’s not enclosed, the porch is the only covered space in my house that’s large enough. I own rubber bumper weight plates so that I can drop the loaded barbell from overhead when I practice the olympic lifts, and then I sprint in the street. In winter weather I wear a bright orange parka while doing all this. The neighbors think I’m pretty weird. I have no idea why they’d think this but they’re all smart people. Who am I to argue.
I love ice cream. I especially like ice cream that has big gooey chunks of chocolate, cookie dough, peanut butter cups, etc. Yes, I’m into nutrition but there has to be room for ice cream sometimes.
Oh, I love to BBQ and it’s one of my longest practiced skills—that’s the Missouri boy in me.
TDN: What’s your daily schedule on a normal day?
RDH: I usually get up with a few words of silent traditional prayer—reinforcing gratitude—around 7 AM, check in on my almost 3-year-old son Judah and my wife Elaine, who nowadays is usually feeding our 2-week-old nursing baby Dalya. Then of course I make some coffee. I sometimes read some news headlines on the internet, check e-mail and very often sit in Judah’s room and read him books, sometimes sing with him and eventually entice him to get dressed. Then it’s breakfast for all of us and I drop Judah off at pre-school. Afterward I’ll make some key phone calls or write some urgent e-mails as needed and usually work out. Then I’ll most often prepare some food for the rest of the day and drive to the synagogue.
Once I arrive, I’m in meetings with staff members, individuals, couples, bar/bat mitzvah students, synagogue volunteers, colleagues and community partners. In the afternoons and evenings I teach religious school classes and adult education, participate in synagogue committee meetings, and get home for more family time as soon as I can. I study, write sermons and notes for talks, columns for the congregation’s newsletter, lesson plans, occasional blog posts and thank you notes at other times.
On weekends of course there’s Shabbat services (Friday night and Saturday AM), usually Saturday afternoon family time at home, Sunday religious school, board meetings, baby namings, etc.
TDN: Name one thing that you have to do on a regular basis that you despise. What lengths would you actually go to, in order to delete it from your schedule?
RDH: I hate organizing paperwork and filing. Typically I’ll let large amounts of papers pile up in a box next to my desk and organize it a few times a year. Okay, sometimes less than a few times a year. Increasingly I avoid printed paper when I can. I just don’t like it. I don’t know what to do with it, it clutters my space and I don’t like to write by hand because I’m very slow and sometimes I can barely read my own handwriting.
TDN: What would you change about your work, industry, profession or self if you could change anything?
RDH: I wish that I had more time for study and more regular opportunities to meet with with rabbinic colleagues and exchange ideas. I work as a solo rabbi, so I have to seek out opportunities. When it does happen I nearly always feel charged up and inspired.
TDN: Is there any life stage or event you would have skipped (like geometry) on the way to where you are now? Would it have been missed?
RDH: I still feel a bit embarrassed that, as a teen, I did such silly and occasionally destructive things. A friend and I dyed the school swimming pool with two quarts of food coloring. It turns out that it cost the school many hundreds of dollars to clean it up, much of which I had to pay back. I almost didn’t graduate because of that little episode. I was often aimless in those days and—worse yet—somewhat ashamed of my aimlessness. I wonder if I might’ve avoided some of that phase somehow.
Ultimately, though, those years helped inform the path ahead. Hopefully I’m a more patient, understanding and helpful parent, friend and rabbi because of that life phase and other challenges I’ve met along the way.
TDN: What was your main stepping stone to getting to where you are today? (Person, place, thing, luck, pluck, virtue?)
RDH: So many family members, friends, teachers and even strangers have helped me at countless turns. Here’s one incident that stands out in my mind:
In high school, an eminent Jewish historian and writer in our neighborhood advertised for a gardener. I loved Jewish history, so I applied and he hired me. My elderly employer would come outside to direct my work and hold long conversations with me. One day we found a dead bird on the lawn. “Damn,” he said with his stern European accent, “we will have to scrape it up.” He picked up the bird with a rake. “We’ll give it to the neighbor,” he declared, flinging it over the fence, “he’s a bastard!” I loved the old man in part because of his very colorful personality and his unabashed eccentricity.
When the writer died several years later, the main speaker at his funeral said that my deceased employer had exemplified every good quality; he had even supposedly been a great neighbor. I knew otherwise–I was his lawn boy. The eulogy told no stories about my friend and lost sight of the man’s true personality. I felt bereft not only because of his death but also because of his absence that I sensed in an empty list of qualities.
Just as I needed to hear the stories about my friend’s colorful personality, I believe that most of us can powerfully encounter the Divine—and sense a Godly presence in our lives—by really getting to know other people, their stories and what makes them unique.
The Talmud uses a parable to illustrate this point: “When a human king mints many coins from one mold, they are all alike. But when the Holy One, the King of Kings, fashioned all humans in the image of their primordial ancestor, not one of them resembled another.” That is to say, when we begin to see the unique individual and their story—we understand that they’re not just another copy like those coins printed by human kings. Then we arrive at a sense of something great beyond words and beautiful, a Godly presence in the universe behind that unique personality. When we don’t understand what makes someone unique—when an individual seems like just another person from a basic mold—we’re likely missing out on this Divine presence in the human interaction.
In my rabbinate I try to keep this principle in mind. I draw from people’s unique stories as the basis for celebration, community-building and mourning. I seek to help others to tell their stories and to connect them with ancient, powerful framing narratives and with a broader community.
TDN: What word or phrase do you say most often?
RDH: Here’s a few:
–“Would the congregation please rise if you’re able.”
–In Hebrew: ”Judah, please don’t throw that on the floor”
–”Sorry, I’m not eating [insert the refined carbohydrate here] these days.”
TDN: What is your single biggest accomplishment?
RDH: Right now I’m very proud that I helped Elaine—even if only a little bit—to get through natural childbirth.
TDN: Is there anything that you can’t live without? (besides food, water and oxygen)
RDH: Internet access, singing, solid protein sources, lots of veggies, berries & coconut milk.
TDN: What’s the best part of your life?
RDH: My family, my congregation and fitness.
TDN: And have you figured out how to get more of it?
RDH: I’m still trying to figure out how to better merge fitness and congregational life, to frame the spirituality of exercise and to better evoke the physicality of Jewish tradition. Also, social justice work doesn’t play as great an active role in my life as it once did and I hope to take steps to increase that.
TDN: What is your ultimate motivation tool? (We won’t hold it against you if it’s ‘The Eye of the Tiger)
RDH: The Eye of the Tiger is right up there. How’d you know?! Aside from that, when I’m preparing for events (life-cycle events, religious services, meetings, teaching, etc) I think about the people whom I’m serving. I think about the importance of the occasion for the community and the individuals involved. I remind myself of how this particular life-cycle event, meeting, holiday, Shabbat, etc. fits into the story of the community or the individuals at the center of the event. The thoughts help to focus me and to shape the content of what I prepare. Also, when I think about how hard many of our synagogue volunteers work, I’m motivated to honor their commitment through my own efforts. And a cup of coffee often helps.
TDN: Who do you most admire and why?
RDH: I admire Moses Maimonides, the 12th century Jewish sage who lived in Muslim Spain and North Africa. He masterfully drew on ancient Jewish tradition to inform and enrich contemporary life and to participate in a sophisticated, multicultural philosophical discourse. He provides a great role-model and key figure for Muslim-Jewish dialogue today. He wrote prolifically but never lost sight of the communities he served and the needs of ordinary people.
TDN: If someone wanted to be you or do what you do, what would you say to them?
RDH: Work hard to overcome pride and to learn from everyone, not least of all those whom you might assume to be less knowledgeable than you.
Links for more on the Rabbi:
www.oseh-shalom.org
www.TheRavBlog.com
{ 2 comments }
Alisa Bowman: Writer, Marriage Ass-Kicker
